Conferences and conversations: making space for learning
Apologies for the recent period of silence. I have been inspired this week to share recent experiences and thoughts. I went to a conference organised by the European Society on Family Relations (ESFR) in early September. I had thought, looking back when I first got home, that I had not gained from it as much as I had hoped, and had not moved my ideas on. But maybe it has helped to develop my ideas about relationships and dementia, an area I have been reflecting on and reading about recently. What has helped even more, has been recent conversations with people with dementia in which I have been privileged to hear about their thoughts and experiences of relationship changes in the context of dementia. I am humbled by the perceptiveness and willingness to share of the people I have met. How often do we give people with dementia the opportunity and time to develop and voice their thoughts in and about dementia services? What support do we give them to meet together and process their experiences? (Have you come across the model of memory cafés where people with dementia meet together as a group? Is it available where you work/ live?) Are we unknowingly part of Tom Kitwood’s malignant social psychology, in disempowering and disabling people with dementia? (Note: Tom Kitwood used the term malignant social psychology to describe the way in which environment, interactions, and communications can diminish the "personhood" of people with dementia: we might have good intentions but still disempower and disable people. My copy of Dementia Reconsidered is well worn and much valued and it’s still listed on amazon.)
I have also had some long drives this week and, another thing I realized, while stuck in traffic on the M6, is that long drives give me an opportunity to reflect. Reflection is often crowded out of my life by everyday tasks and the email mountain: I must have been bursting with ideas when I worked in Wolverhampton with all that driving! I know that my inspirations and enthusiasms develop in conversation with others, but perhaps I don’t always recognize how important they are to me. I am a member of ASPENS, a network of people in the Association of Family Therapy and Systemic Practice, who share an interest in, and who want to promote, family and systemic psychotherapies in the independent and voluntary sectors. Online through ASPENS I met a colleague who collaborated with me on a review of family therapy and dementia (recently published online by International Psychogeriatrics) and we hope to have a continuing creative connection. Who knows where that might lead? I think it’s unwise to know where you’re going, as the knowing might eliminate a lot of very interesting possibilities…
So some questions for the reader:
How do you make space to develop your thoughts and carry on learning?
Who are the people that connect with and inspire you?
If you work in the care/ support of people with dementia, how do you make space for them to voice their wishes and thoughts?
Posted on Thu, September 18, 2014
by Susan Mary Benbow